Headed up to Van Cortland today for the XC Championships 5K. Truthfully, I wasn't really into the idea of running it, I think part of me just didn't want to miss out on a race. Maybe the whole not-doing-marathoners mindset is creeping into my decisions in ways I can't quite recognize.

The place was packed with what seemed to be post collegiate runners, which made me feel a little out of place. But I love Van Cortland & I thought it would be fun to get out there & run a fast 5K.

But, oh boy, was I wrong. From the minute I started the race, I was spent. I found the whole race extremely challenging, the uphills just as much as the downhills. I truthfully was pushing so hard (I was wearing a heartrate monitor to prove it) BUT my pace was ungodly slow. And got slower by the moment. I ended the race feeling embarrassed.

Distance: 1 mile warm up, 5k (not giving the time), 1 mile warmdown

State of Mind: Is this a sign?