Birthday Weekend

Always, without fail, I become an introverted, depressed mess during my birthday. Not sure why, but it is something that I literally need to roll with as I haven't found a way around it. Fear is definitely part of it, it is almost like my time every year to be viewed from the inside out versus the way I usually portray myself.

Started off Saturday with what was supposed to be an easy 12 miler. But by the end, I was killing myself. Part of the problem is that I intentionally slowed down, away from the group which left me running much of the run on my own. But the problem was that the group was in eyesight, so although my body was fine with the pace my mind wanted ever so badly to catch up with everyone. By the end, I felt like I gave it my everything to stay with the group, only to get left time after time once we entered a hill or a straightaway where people could pick up speed.

Distance: 13+ miles

On Sunday, I started my birthday celebration with a two-hour inversion class at Laughing Lotus. Since one of my major fears in yoga is letting go & allowing myself to go upside down, I thought this would be perfect. The class was definitely fun, but it didn't really allow me to face my fears since we were constantly working with groups which distracted my attention away from dealing with any real issue.

On Monday, my true birthday, I decided to skip out on running & take another two-hour yoga practice, this time with the owner of the studio. The practice was unbelievable. Seriously the most challenging thing I have done in a long time, by far the most challenging yoga practice I have ever taken. I was soaked, exhausted & pushing my body to new limits. It completely drained me, left me in a calm trance with very little control for the rest of the day.

State of Mind: So, all in all, I did learn something this weekend but mainly I learned that I still have so much growth to do. So much to learn. So much to give. Which, all in all, is not a bad thing to focus on during this temporary instability.