With B in town & the marathon looming, I was excited to get out & get in a good run. A light drizzle was coming down, but it was hot & humid...unlike what you would expect on halloween. After a proper debate, we decided to take on the Brooklyn/Williamsburg bridge. I felt really good, which is a bit of a change for me.

After getting over into Manhattan, we all broke up into mini-groups. I ended up with B & B, which I knew would be fast for me...but I was feeling good. We completely missed the turn to the Bburg bridge & ran until we hit Houston. Knowing that we were off the intended course, we picked up the pace to try to catch up & I literally tired myself out trying to find the main group -- mainly because I felt bad about leaving an out-of-town friend. I hit a wall at near the BQE & basically carried myself back to home.

Distance: 11.25 miles

State of Mind: Exhausted & not entirely sure why I worry so much

Yoga, yoga, yoga. A was full of perfect quotes tonight, I tried to grasp every statement & connect it to my life. I love the fact that we focus on seasons, each one bringing challenges & opportunities for us to work on. The dark, cold winter that is ahead of us is giving us a chance to rest, focus & get ready for the new year...which is exactly what I need to focus on.

Distance: n/a
State of Mind: A good day is listening twice as much as you speak.

Ran with an active group tonight, including H & newbie J. Plus, the usual HM...which is always a pleasure. Tried to take it easy & I managed that until the hill. Which was tough, as usual.

H mentioned how beautiful the night was, which I didn't even notice until after we got going. That's the power of a group.

Distance: 5.35 miles
State of Mind: Running definitely gets me through...

Dark, rainy night. No better time for the companion of a group. Winter has definitely found us.

Coach wanted us to do pick-ups tonight, since so many people were running the marathon this weekend. 2 min on, 1 min off. I felt good for the first 2/3's, but like usual, I started tiring towards the end & found the pace unmanageable. Ran with R & J, R is such a strong runner...really inspirational.

Distance: 2 mile bike, 2 mile warmup, 3 mile picksup, 2 mile warmdown, 2 mile bike
State of Mind: Gettin there, little by little

After not such a good race yesterday, I was excited to put some miles in today. To help A train for her marathon, I decided to meet up early with her so we could head to the start of the last 10 miles together. I really enjoyed the race last year, so I was equally excited about doing it again this year.

The run was just amazing, from the to-die-for weather to the great company. Although I do have to say it was hard to see how fast S & G took off...but I guess that is what happens when you are both truly talent & put a lot of work in. Just miss them, I guess.

After running with A up to 59th street, I spent the next several miles running with a pack of guys (I only knew a few). We kept a comfortable pace & I felt strong the whole time. In Central Park, we ended up meeting back up with J & A after a few of the runners took a short cut & I decided to slow it down a bit & finish with them. J actually had a lot of energy, so it was fun running with him.

Even though I am not running the marathon, just crossing the finish line is emotional. Such a strange feeling. They were playing Sheryl Crow's "Run Baby Run" song, which was a perfect representative of my years of high school running. And to top it off, H surprised me with a big hug as we were making our way to the PPTC car.

Distance: 18 miles or so
State of Mind: Stupid to run so far, but it felt great...

Woke up to a drizzly day & no idea where I was going OR what the course would be like. That's the thing with races, you really never know what you are in for. Here I come Nike Human Race.

The pre-race activities were quite disorganized & it felt strange not seeing anyone I knew BUT seeing the millions of people in the park I call home. I cut most lines, getting in & out of registration pretty quickly. I finally saw R & he suggested I start with him & the other 5 minute milers. Why not, right?

I ran mile 1 in 6:53 & I actually felt pretty good. Again, I thought to myself...I am back. But mile 2 on just went down hill. The hill killed me, both times around & my pace just never seemed to lighten up. The harder I ran, the slower I got. But what am I to say? I ran hard, my heart rate was up there & yet I just couldn't perform.

There are many reasons that this could be happening....my fitness is not quite where it should be, my throat hurt the day before & I felt like I was getting sick, my foot isn't quite better or maybe the fact that I haven't eaten meat since Reach the Beach has impacted my body.

But truthfully, any of my excuses don't really change the fact that I am just slow right now...

Distance: 9+ miles with a 10k at 48:59
State of Mind: Happy with my effort, disappointed with my time

What makes someone do their job that much better? Why do some people just get by with the standards & some others elevate everyone around them?

That is what was on my mind in practice tonight, watching Ali work her magic. Someone said to me earlier in the day "good advertising does more for the individual than the individual gives back". Maybe a good life is all about giving yourself to others & letting them feel your magic...mystery...passion.

Tonight, we played with dark moments, music...followed by tons of sweat. For some reason, I felt very at peace with myself & was able to enjoy my little world a little more than usual. Maybe it's because of what I was given.

I was even able to go from crow to head stand back to crow...which is insane for me.

Distance: n/a
State of Mind: Centered, tired, calm

Anxious about life, anxious about running. Just anxious. Why is my mind like this?

Felt great tonight, but as soon as I started running...eh. It was all guys tonight + Jenny, a new girl that is friends with H & a great runner. F said that I ran very steady, which is not a usual move for me...whatever that means.

Either way, I feel a little stagnant. But not in such a controlled way.

Distance: 5.35 miles
State of Mind: So much energy, but why can't I convert it?

After Dr. M cleared me for running, I was excited to run tonight in the speed group. A super warm night was a great plus too. Coach had us do long hills by the lake, which was great.

I felt good, felt strong BUT I wasn't running super fast. So I couldn't really judge my ability.

Distance: 2 miles bike, 2 mile warmup, 7 long hills, .5 warmdown, 2 miles bike
State of Mind: Happy, fulfilled...

Woke up to rain rain rain today. Didn't want to head out, just wanted to sneak underneath the covers & enjoy the peace of our home with N by my side. But I knew H might be heading out, so I decided to brave it to spend a few precious moments with her. K & her were the only ones there, I had trouble keeping up with them the whole loop. Not sure why, maybe because of my long run yesterday...but it was a struggle.

Distance: 5.35 miles
State of Mind: Frozen, soaked & wanting to stay indoors

With the revolving door of family visiting NYC lately, my fitness has really fallen flat. So I was really excited to hammer down a bit today, giving my body a lesson in where it needs to be. I wouldn't say today was a hard run physically, but mentally trying to not give up was challenging. I have to say that I really miss running with H & S, but so happy to have B, R & A there to keep me company. I guess in a way, I feel like things are changing a bit.

We headed over BB to Manhattan to hit Battery Park, which is definitely one of my fav runs. Down by the ferry terminal, a couple of Ethiopians passed us, which was awe-inspiring to say the least. Lately, I have felt a little disappointed in myself, choosing not to focus on marathons & not racing as much as others...seeing those gifted athletes run hit a soft spot in my heart.

Distance: 13.2 miles
State of Mind: Energized & ready to deal with the revolving door

Right when I arrived at practice today, my yoga crush "M" said hi to me. Ah, what a great way to start off the night. Practice tonight was challenging, but brought so much clarity to me. Ali stayed on subject, focusing on our past/present selves, learning from the past & looking towards the future. Very enlightening.

Note to self: turns out head stands & wheel postures aren't so good for a hurt neck/shoulder, need to remember to stay away from them.

Distance: n/a
State of Mind: Not physically soaked, but definitely mentally satisfied

With family in town, I decided to sneak out of work early & get a workout in before my usual 7pm time. I really wanted to run, but couldn't convince the hubs to join me SO I opted for the bike instead. Did a hard 30 minute bike ride, sweating up a storm & feeling my legs burn. At some points, the minutes went by so slowly, something I rarely feel when running.

Distance: 30 minutes on the computrainer
State of Mind: I miss running, which is a good sign

Hesitant to run, but running is who I am...so I headed to the track tonight. I made a decision ahead of time to take it easy tonight, which is not always easy for me. After biking like a mad woman down to Red Hook track, I warmed up easy & decided to give mile repeats a try. I stayed with K's group, instead of going with the faster ladies...which was wise. I only did 3 of the 4 mile repeats, but I was happy with my pain level. Almost none at all.

But one thing that did bother me was my lack of ambition to run. I didn't feel the same spirit that I usually do, which really worried me. Will there become a time when I no longer want to run? God, I hope not. What would I do with all this pent up & unneeded energy.

Distance: 3+ mile bike, 1.5 warmup, 3xmile repeats 6:56, 6:56, 7:10, .5 mile warmdown, 2+ mile bike
State of Mind: Healing...

Found myself out of luck today. After waking up super excited for the Bed Stuy 10k, I apparently pulled something in my neck while washing my face. Really? Am I that fragile? I tried to move past it, but after warming up with S, I knew there was no chance I would run hard on it. But I did stick around with Philly & watch the race. Only in Bed Stuy would the lead runners get lost, thanks to poor race management. It was semi hilarious, not for the runners BUT for the representation of the hood I call home. S & R seemed to take the news okay, but a few others (including coach) did not seem pleased.

Distance: 0, can't say it any other way
State of Mind: Being tested, I think

Needed to take it easy to prep for the Bed Stuy 10k tomorrow, so I knew I was going to try to avoid running too long today. Wanted to do just a loop of the park, but I was happy to do a bit longer & run to the Bridge with S, R & J. Plus we had a new runner join us today, which is always exciting.

With so many races tomorrow, I just know everyone will kick ass. I just hope I am included in that.

Distance: 7.22 miles
State of Mind: Actually, funnily enough, very nervous for tomorrow.

Yoga, yoga, yoga...oh how I've missed you. Smaller class than I expected, with a direction ready for. But honestly, no matter what Ali does...I fall in love.

Distance: n/a
State of Mind: I made it through this week, yeah

Met up with the usual group for the Wed night run, was so great to see H & even some of the cute boys joined us. The pace was pretty casual the first half, but after that...like always...we picked it up. I realized that this intentional pick up is actually really good for me, even though I almost always fall back from it.

Distance: 5.35 miles
State of Mind: Feeling good...

Excited to get some running in, headed to the park for the usual speed workout. We ended up doing a tempo workout, which was pretty great. 20 minutes easy, 20 minutes tempo, 20 minutes easy. It took us two loops to complete it, but the 20 minute tempo definitely put me in my place. I ran with M & R the whole time, which is becoming quite common these days. We broke up the tempo run into 5 minute "lead" tempos where each of us took turns. I felt great, but at 15 minutes, I knew I was running out of gas. I started losing both of them 1.5 minutes to go as R took off to finish strong. Felt great to be put in place.

Distance: 2 mile bike, 6.7 mile run, 2 mile bike
State of Mind: Boy oh boy, I have some work to do

Needed to burn some energy, but still a little hesitant about getting injured...so I stuck to the trainer tonight. Did an easy 35 or so minute ride, not really pushing it too hard. It felt good to go slow, something that is hard to do on Wed/Sun runs with the group sometimes. My fault more than anyones.

Good news is that the my right foot no longer hurts, feels normal all of a sudden. But my left knee is now starting to ache a bit. From one thing to another.

Distance: 35 minute training ride
State of Mind: Miss running...

After eating, eating & more eating on Saturday...I knew I needed to get a good run in today. To support Ami's 18 mile effort, we decided to do the outside of the park. Which, to be honest, is quite nice. Not sure why I like it so much, maybe just the change. I tried to stay with HM most of the time, but I swear to god...every time I caught up to him, he would just pull away even more. I kind of felt like I was being played with.

Did feel quite bad about others running so much, compared to my meager efforts. But I just don't it is the time to push myself.

Distance: 5.7 miles
State of Mind: Happy to get out & enjoy the day

Excited to get a long run in, I headed to meet up with the running group. It appears that some of the faster runners are starting to ditch the group, but there were plenty of people at my pace to keep my mind satisfied. We ended up doing the Battery Park loop, which felt really nice. My foot didn't hurt too much, masked by pain killers but my left leg did start causing me issues towards the end. Ice, ice, ice...I guess.

Distance: 10.15

State of Mind: I love running.

Back to my regular schedule, thank god. Went to yet another amazing yoga class tonight. Within 2 minutes, I felt completely taken in. That is an amazing feeling. Although I am definitely not on my a-game, I did notice that I was trying to guess the next pose instead of focusing on the one that I was on. At first, I thought, what a way to try to prepare BUT I realized that it is just a tactic in my insane mind to not focus on the present. Silly me.

Distance: leaps, needed leaps
State of Mind: More, more, more (like the song)